Like so many people, I have a complicated relationship with my family. I have a mom, two younger sisters and a step-dad who I call Dad. He has been the only father I’ve ever known.
When I was born, my mother was seventeen. After a tumultuous relationship, beatings and assault, they married and divorced all before I was two. My mother then married another man and had a baby with him. He was a drug addict. I don’t know what all he did, I was lucky enough to never fall into the drug world. I believe he did cocaine, pot and who knows what else. He would use and buy in and out of the house. A far as I can tell, he never sold. When he was short on drugs, he’d get edgy and things could get a little out of hand, and while he could be violent, my mother was pretty tough. She’d been through a lot.
When we finally ditched him, Mom went through a couple of boyfriends before she found dad. She hadn’t known him that long when she decided to pack up her two kids and move across the country with him. I was 9 and my sister was 3. A couple of years down the road, they had a baby and this completed our family.
My dad is great, very patient, good at his job. He was always a pushover with us, sweet to my mom and made sure everything was taken care of. Since I was 9, I had a stable home and a stable family. The effects of my mother’s life have taken a huge toll on her however and she is a little unstable. She was raised in an alcoholic, extremely abusive home and as such, she has anger issues, attachment issues and manipulation and control issues. She is better now than she was, but as the oldest child, our relationship was and is somewhat difficult for all of the things we’ve seen and been through. After all, she was just a child when she had me and we kinda grew up together.
My dad on the other hand, I developed a close bond with fairly early after they married. We share a love of history and good bargains. We have a lot in common and he has been a great dad. After three years of being separated from the family due to his job, he is finally home tonight. My son was ecstatic to see him. He will be moving close to my home which means my son will get to have his grandpa full-time, after three years of two vacations a year with him. To say we are thrilled to have him home would be putting it mildly.
Tomorrow is a mundane day of turning on the water, electric and getting the cable guy to the new place. He will touch base and get familiar with his new job. It will take a few weeks for the dust to settle, but then the fun begins! Look out world!